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love and acceptance

I’ve been fortunate to have some positive energy around my dressing recently. I’m pretty damn lucky.

I have been working on being more comfortable around my wife while wearing a bra (and only a bra). My usual routine would be to head into the closet (ironic, right??) or the bathroom to put on my bra, and then cover it up with whatever male clothing I was wearing for the day. She has insisted that she is OK with seeing me in my bra, even stating she wished I wasn’t so shy about it. Hence, I have been making a conscious effort to change more openly, or to walk around the bedroom in my bra while she is around. I have even made the attempt to just hang out with her in bed - in just my bra and panties (yes, it was AMAZING).

So, the other day, I was looking through my bra drawer, trying to decide what I would wear that day. I chose one, and instead of leaving the room, I stayed right there, and put it on, while she was sitting on the bed. I was checking it in the mirror close by (a- I really wanted to see it on me, b- I had to see if i need to make any adjustments). All of sudden I hear: “It makes me smile when you wear a bra.” WHOA. What? Did she just say what I think she said? I was on cloud nine. My heart raced with excitement, and I could feel the smile on my face. I know my wife loves me with all of her heart, but that innocent statement took it to another level for me.

I struggle greatly with accepting my crossdressing / underdressing A LOT. I love how it makes me feel, and then simultaneously I can feel immense shame and guilt for liking it so much. I feel I haven’t been fair to my wife, providing her with a quintessential manly man. So - when she said that sentence, it took a little bit to sink in (I texted her about later that day to be sure I had heard her correctly). Indeed, I had heard her correctly. Even sitting here typing this post, I get the flutter thinking about it. I don’t think she quite realized the impact it had on me. Her acceptance of this part of me feels simply amazing.

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ud cd

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